Have you never read about Jacob Cohen? He tried to hit it big as a young comic and got nowhere. He sold aluminum siding to feed his family. It was his time as a put-upon salesman inspired him to create the persona that would make him famous- Rodney Dangerfield. He didn’t hit it big as a comedian until 1969, when he was 48, and wasn’t a movie star until Caddyshack in 1980, when he was almost 60. His experiences with real life struggles gave his humor relevance and heart. He mentored scores of future comedy stars as well. You’re lucky; you can age out of being a gymnast or a soldier, if those are your dreams. You’re never too old to be funny.
I knew about the aluminum siding thing, but I didn't know he tried to make it as a comic before he created the Dangerfield persona. Thanks for sharing that. Who knows where time and circumstances will take me in my 40s.
What a great piece. Don't forget when you turn 40 tho a lot of people around you are going to start making swings based on what they really wanted to do all along, and many of them will feel they missed out. Your sense of failure will be different from theirs in other words - more the 'I gave it my best shot' kind.
You'll still feel sadness and regret that it didn't go better, but you'll have a new challenge that'll feel absorbing. It's all about how exactly you want to feel disappointed, TBH
Thanks for the mention and I enjoyed reading this honest piece.
Not that I'm in any position to give advice, but still, I'd say the future is often way less set than we think it to be. Also, as someone who spent his 20s living more of a so-called conventional life than I ideally would have, I do envy people like you who got to spend those years in fuller pursuit of their dreams. That's a prime time that we'll never get back and to have spent it as you did has its own immeasurable value.
Thanks! Yeah I have a tendency for doomerism I have to try and avoid. The future definitely won’t include stand-up, it’s way too time and location intensive. But I’m happy I have writing as an outlet. It’s definitely the most flexible of the creative pursuits. Life WFH but for the arts.
I think it's worth saying that historically - as in your Mozart example - a lot of the people who spent their youth in full pursuit of their dreams just... died. Part of all this is down to improved survival rates.
Good write Pete I know similar situations and people that made to a certain degree a success. But have no partner to share it with. My wife and I on the other hand have 8 kids now and didn’t do some of the things that others were doing our age. Now we are finding we are still youthful and doing things we never thought we would do. Business, writing , studies. We all have gifts and talents. I saw those possibilities years ago but couldn’t act on them then. We cannot fairly compare ourselves to anyone. We have our individual path to embark!
8 kids! My goodness! Congrats to you and your wife. I know the opportunities never end if you look for and commit to them, they just might appear different over time.
You are right . The opportunities are there. The relationships are not always. A good friend is a singer in Hawaii and is well known there. We have talked about how superficial relationships can tend to be in that limelight. Same goes in many fields of endeavor. The real relationships of family and true friends are so important. I like Substack for that. Welcome to this platform.
You know, from the evo psych point of view you're a great demonstration of the sexual-selection value for men of being funny.
The flipside is if you never tried then you get into middle age without ever doing what you want and then find everyone else who did has been doing it since their 20s and is better than you'll ever be. I always fantasized about writing that novel when I was financially secure. Well, mission accomplished, but now I'm in my mid-40s and a colleague of mine who pursued her dream in her spare time is actually a published novelist! (There will be no more details to avoid doxxing either of us.) Also, now they don't want (straight) men publishing novels, so I couldn't make it now even if I tried.
Oh, a best shot was given for sure. And writing is definitely something you don't age out of, nor does it require you to leave the house like stand-up and acting do. It's always in the realm of possibility. Publishing houses are pretty much dead now anyway, and there's always alternative presses or even Substack to lean on. The Nike slogan applies, just do it.
I guess I'm somewhat amused by the tone of this piece which to my ear sounded regretful and at the same time resolute and a little bit melancholic, and I was nodding along since what I was hearing was kinda like my own story and pretty much like about a quarter of the human race I suspect, especially the male part of the quarter of it, and then I reached the part where you said you were 38. Ha! Give me a break, man. You're a baby and you still have time to fail at a bunch of stuff five or six more times. Thirty fucking eight! The world is your oyster, dude, and clearly you can write a very good essay and I'm sorry if I sound corny but you're just getting started. It might be writing or it might be something else. The main thing always is to put your heart into it. I love the photo at the end, except the guy with the mop should be putting his back into it. Swabbing the can, cleaning the vomit off the floor of your taxicab, or a myriad of other gross and belittling things are just the steps we have to take to toughen ourselves up for wherever the fuck it is we're destined for.
Fair! We’re always the oldest we’ve been, so we always feel old. I think what’s definitely over for me is the era where my whole life revolves a specific pursuit. I have to make room for a lot more stuff now.
Weeknight, buzzed around a dozen other comics and half of them are mentally ill substance abusers. I miss performing, but the baggage around the scene was tough to overcome.
This is kind of an odd pull, but Darryl Cooper had a great podcast about Nietzsche vs Dostoyevsky and his description of the perils of Dostoyevsky’s literary circle sounded like he was talking about New York City comedy.
Have you never read about Jacob Cohen? He tried to hit it big as a young comic and got nowhere. He sold aluminum siding to feed his family. It was his time as a put-upon salesman inspired him to create the persona that would make him famous- Rodney Dangerfield. He didn’t hit it big as a comedian until 1969, when he was 48, and wasn’t a movie star until Caddyshack in 1980, when he was almost 60. His experiences with real life struggles gave his humor relevance and heart. He mentored scores of future comedy stars as well. You’re lucky; you can age out of being a gymnast or a soldier, if those are your dreams. You’re never too old to be funny.
I knew about the aluminum siding thing, but I didn't know he tried to make it as a comic before he created the Dangerfield persona. Thanks for sharing that. Who knows where time and circumstances will take me in my 40s.
What a great piece. Don't forget when you turn 40 tho a lot of people around you are going to start making swings based on what they really wanted to do all along, and many of them will feel they missed out. Your sense of failure will be different from theirs in other words - more the 'I gave it my best shot' kind.
Thanks! Yeah I’ve always said I’m well insulated against a midlife crisis because of the big swings I took in my 20s and 30s.
You'll still feel sadness and regret that it didn't go better, but you'll have a new challenge that'll feel absorbing. It's all about how exactly you want to feel disappointed, TBH
Thanks for the mention and I enjoyed reading this honest piece.
Not that I'm in any position to give advice, but still, I'd say the future is often way less set than we think it to be. Also, as someone who spent his 20s living more of a so-called conventional life than I ideally would have, I do envy people like you who got to spend those years in fuller pursuit of their dreams. That's a prime time that we'll never get back and to have spent it as you did has its own immeasurable value.
Thanks! Yeah I have a tendency for doomerism I have to try and avoid. The future definitely won’t include stand-up, it’s way too time and location intensive. But I’m happy I have writing as an outlet. It’s definitely the most flexible of the creative pursuits. Life WFH but for the arts.
I think it's worth saying that historically - as in your Mozart example - a lot of the people who spent their youth in full pursuit of their dreams just... died. Part of all this is down to improved survival rates.
Good write Pete I know similar situations and people that made to a certain degree a success. But have no partner to share it with. My wife and I on the other hand have 8 kids now and didn’t do some of the things that others were doing our age. Now we are finding we are still youthful and doing things we never thought we would do. Business, writing , studies. We all have gifts and talents. I saw those possibilities years ago but couldn’t act on them then. We cannot fairly compare ourselves to anyone. We have our individual path to embark!
8 kids! My goodness! Congrats to you and your wife. I know the opportunities never end if you look for and commit to them, they just might appear different over time.
You are right . The opportunities are there. The relationships are not always. A good friend is a singer in Hawaii and is well known there. We have talked about how superficial relationships can tend to be in that limelight. Same goes in many fields of endeavor. The real relationships of family and true friends are so important. I like Substack for that. Welcome to this platform.
You know, from the evo psych point of view you're a great demonstration of the sexual-selection value for men of being funny.
The flipside is if you never tried then you get into middle age without ever doing what you want and then find everyone else who did has been doing it since their 20s and is better than you'll ever be. I always fantasized about writing that novel when I was financially secure. Well, mission accomplished, but now I'm in my mid-40s and a colleague of mine who pursued her dream in her spare time is actually a published novelist! (There will be no more details to avoid doxxing either of us.) Also, now they don't want (straight) men publishing novels, so I couldn't make it now even if I tried.
So, you know, maybe you gave it your best shot?
Oh, a best shot was given for sure. And writing is definitely something you don't age out of, nor does it require you to leave the house like stand-up and acting do. It's always in the realm of possibility. Publishing houses are pretty much dead now anyway, and there's always alternative presses or even Substack to lean on. The Nike slogan applies, just do it.
I guess I'm somewhat amused by the tone of this piece which to my ear sounded regretful and at the same time resolute and a little bit melancholic, and I was nodding along since what I was hearing was kinda like my own story and pretty much like about a quarter of the human race I suspect, especially the male part of the quarter of it, and then I reached the part where you said you were 38. Ha! Give me a break, man. You're a baby and you still have time to fail at a bunch of stuff five or six more times. Thirty fucking eight! The world is your oyster, dude, and clearly you can write a very good essay and I'm sorry if I sound corny but you're just getting started. It might be writing or it might be something else. The main thing always is to put your heart into it. I love the photo at the end, except the guy with the mop should be putting his back into it. Swabbing the can, cleaning the vomit off the floor of your taxicab, or a myriad of other gross and belittling things are just the steps we have to take to toughen ourselves up for wherever the fuck it is we're destined for.
Fair! We’re always the oldest we’ve been, so we always feel old. I think what’s definitely over for me is the era where my whole life revolves a specific pursuit. I have to make room for a lot more stuff now.
I think I went of on a crazy sort of jag above. Sorry. I guess I'd only say, the moon also has phases.
Weeknight, buzzed around a dozen other comics and half of them are mentally ill substance abusers. I miss performing, but the baggage around the scene was tough to overcome.
This is kind of an odd pull, but Darryl Cooper had a great podcast about Nietzsche vs Dostoyevsky and his description of the perils of Dostoyevsky’s literary circle sounded like he was talking about New York City comedy.
In to it. This?
https://open.substack.com/pub/martyrmade/p/the-prodigal-sons-nietzsche-and-dostoevsky?r=bi6gf&utm_medium=ios
That’s a shorter version. The full (extremely long one) with the breakdown is https://www.martyrmade.com/featured-podcasts/the-underground-spirit
Worth the time investment for sure.