"If the fundamental act of this endeavor, generating a funny thought to share with others, wasn’t providing me any enjoyment or satisfaction at the most basic level, then the entire enterprise wasn’t worth it anymore."
This whole essay describes the emotions I felt after trying to "learn to code" after a year, and giving it up. A mix of regret that I didn't achieve what I set out to achieve, that lingering feeling of maybe I didn't have enough grit or try hard enough. But also relief. Relief that I can move on from a struggle that didn't bear much fruit.
What I was ultimately seeking was agency. Now that I've moved on I've come to realize that coding wouldn't have brought me much anyway.
"If the fundamental act of this endeavor, generating a funny thought to share with others, wasn’t providing me any enjoyment or satisfaction at the most basic level, then the entire enterprise wasn’t worth it anymore."
This whole essay describes the emotions I felt after trying to "learn to code" after a year, and giving it up. A mix of regret that I didn't achieve what I set out to achieve, that lingering feeling of maybe I didn't have enough grit or try hard enough. But also relief. Relief that I can move on from a struggle that didn't bear much fruit.
What I was ultimately seeking was agency. Now that I've moved on I've come to realize that coding wouldn't have brought me much anyway.
Thanks for reading, I'm glad that it resonated. Happy to hear you found some relief.
This made me happy
Glad to hear that, thanks for reading!